His and Hers - The Gift that Makes Sparks Fly
By Christine Akiteng
If your relationship is starting to lose its
passion you may need to make a conscious effort
to re-ignite the spark in your relationship and
reawaken the passion. Put the spark back and nurture
your relationship both in and out of the bedroom
with these simple but very powerful gift ideas.
A Gift of Change
One of the things that gets a woman hooked onto
the "bad boy" is the desire to change him and
the joy that comes with knowing that she's the
one WHO DID IT. Guys, listen to her subtle requests.
I am sure you've heard one or two things that
she thinks would turn the world right side up
if you'd only change - and you know deep inside
that you'd gladly change if she only stopped bagging
you about it. Nothing beats an admission of guilt
than a full-blown change. Even something as simple
as asking her what it is that she wants you to
change to make her feel loved and secure is a
step in the right direction.
Ladies, give the man in your life the gift of
trusting him to know how and when to take care
of himself - and of you. Instead of constantly
telling him what he is not doing right, how about
complimenting him on what he is doing right. Encourage
him to talk about your sexual relationship - trust
me, he is dying to - and surprise him by doing
less of what he doesn't like ("I am not in the
mood") and more of what he likes - whatever that
it is. And honey, you know that there are a couple
of things you need to change yourself - right?
A Gift of Mystery
Nothing kills a relationship faster than boredom
and the same stale stuff day in and day out.
Ladies, romance your man with romantic love letters
or poems, read them to him and watch his emotional
and sensitive side emerge. Leave random love notes
in his coat pockets, briefcase, cellular phone
- or bedroom. Leave a small "treasure hunt" on
his desk which points to some "BIG" rewards both
for his effort and his determination.
Guys serenade her by getting up in the middle
of a fully crowded restaurant (not a cheap "all
you can eat" type) and declaring your undying
love for her in front of a bunch of "I don't need
a man to make me happy" man-hating women. Blaring
"our song" outside her window in the middle of
the night after you've had a nasty fight will
get you back in the house quicker than you can
say "Halley Berry".
A Gift of Interest
Give your partner the gift of your interest in
something that is important to him or her.
Ladies if your man into soccer, baseball, basketball
or hockey and you don't know all the field positions
or the difference between a "bank shot" and a
"blocked shot" or a batter and a battery, take
time to educate yourself secretly and next time
he is watching his favourite team (you should
also know a few names), plug in.
Guys, leave work or business early and come home
to watch Oprah or Ellen. Check their websites
for the topic of the day, and when she asks you
why you are home early, throw in the element of
surprise. Better yet, buy a complete series of
her talk show and sit by her side through out
the series. Go ahead, just ask him/her a question
about what really interests him/her and see the
smile light up his or her face.
A Gift of Listening
Men, you may not realize it, but perhaps maybe
you are not giving your woman enough attention
and enough time to talk - most women want that.
Allow your woman to talk about whatever her heart
desires, and listen with out trying to fix it
or correct her and no blocking out or walking
away. Share with her from your heart even if there
are feelings that make it difficult. If you must,
before you ask to sit down and talk, run around
the block or do some other exercise as an external
release which calms you down.
Ladies, let your man talk or answer your question
with out finishing his sentences for him, interrupting
him, trying to interpret what you think he is
trying to say, or jumping back and forth from
topic to topic. And if he doesn't feel like talking,
sit down next to him in silence - I mean silence
like in NO talking silence.
Gift of Spontaneous Intimacy
Guys your woman craves to be swept off her feet
every now and then. Secretly call a hotel and
ask them to arrange a special night of red rose
petals everywhere, scented bubble baths, candles
and Champaign for just two. If you have kids,
arrange for a baby sitter or relative to take
care of the kids - and do not tell her. Relive
your first night as a couple.
Ladies wake him up with a big "good morning"
surprise. In the middle of the day, just lock
the door, grab his hand, smile... and lead him
to the bedroom. Don't be shy about publicly displaying
your affection (with dignity of course) while
you're out with him. Make other men jealous -
all men secretly long for a girlfriend/wife turned
"hooker" especially if he is the ONLY one who
ever gets to take the "hooker' home. Mix things
up a little by experimenting - be creative, very
A Gift of Trust
Trust takes time and effort, is easily broken
and hard to restore. Ladies, the secrets to trusting
your man is being secure in yourself and maintaining
realistic expectations. Don't push it, force it,
nag him, tug him or try to cut the edges to make
it fit. Your man also needs to know he can trust
you, it works both ways.
Guys, the secret of having your woman trust you
is showing her that you are trustworthy and that
you trust her in return. Trust first, but don't
ignore the warning signs. If there are just too
many inconsistencies for comfort, then communicate
them to your man directly, stick to the FACTS
- avoid accusations. Simply tell him or her how
his/her behavior makes you feel. He/she may be
dealing with other issues that have nothing to
do with cheating on you with someone else.
A Gift of Self
There is a myth out there that if someone is
your soul mate, he or she will instinctively know
everything about you. This is simply not true.
Most people in relationships - both men and women
- would love to give their partners what they
want if only they knew what it was. Allow the
man or woman in your life to know who you are
and invite him or her to open up and share his
or her fears and weaknesses knowing that you will
still love and respect him or her - with their
good and bad.
Finally, wrap your gift with passion and spontaneity.
Without passion and spontaneity your relationship
will turn into the kind of social convenience
many call a relationship or marriage.
About the Author
Christine Akiteng is an internationally renown
Dating Coach with a unique and fresh outlook to
what love is really about and what we can expect
from our sexual relations. See Christine's Website:
www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com for more:
The Sweet Smell Of Sexcess, Your Sexual Style
Could Be Hurting Your Relationships, The Best
Sex Is Spontaneous Sex!, Sex - Is Yours Waist
Up Or Waist Down?