Finding, sustaining, growing, and enjoying satisfying relationships is one of the greatest joys and challenges we have as human beings. We are blessed with a tremendous desire to love and be loved — to listen and be listened to, to take care of and accept care from others. And yet meaningful, sustainable relationships often elude us.
Here are some things learned along the way about finding and sustaining a soul-mate relationship:
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1
Know who you are and what you want. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t know what it is — your values, interests, and what you can and can’t tolerate.
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2
Learn how to disagree, speak your mind, and confront. Avoiding conflict is death for a relationship — it requires repressing anger, which extinguishes passion. Learn to fight fair.
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3
Keep the fire lit. A good sex life plays a critical role in a successful relationship. Create romantic opportunities, and talk about what you both need.
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4
Don’t let child-raising take precedence over the relationship. A great marriage is the best gift you can give your children. Get away, just the two of you, on a regular basis.
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5
Take responsibility, and affirm each other. Say “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake, and “thank you” for the things you appreciate. Don’t take each other for granted.
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6
Ask for what you want. Partners can’t read minds. Don’t assume “he should just know” — say it plainly.
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7
Get help if you need it. A relationship coach, therapist, or good book can help. Don’t give up — the answer rarely lies in changing partners.
Never take a soul mate for granted.
Review what you have, what you want, the hidden or apparent treasure of love. If you have a soul mate, never take this relationship for granted — it is rare indeed.
